... but today, ordinary isn't enough.

18 September, 2011

Remember these when you want carbs/chocolate/butter:

Reasons to win this battle, and the next, and the next:

1.  So you won't have to start again on Monday.
2.  So that your thighs don't make you cringe every time you take a step.
3.  So that shopping can be as thoroughly fun as it deserves to be.
4.  So that you can stop putting, "Lose weight," at the top of your New Year's resolution list.
5.  So you can bask in the accomplishment of finishing what you started.
6.  So you're all poise, grace, and careless beauty.
7.  So you can stop envying ballerinas.
8.  So you don't feel like everyone's disgusted by your thighs in denim shorts.
9.  So you aren't hurt when people teasingly call you fat.
10. So you can finally buy the types of clothes you used to wait for.
11. So baggy tops and sweaters look cute, not like you're trying to cover your fat.
12. So you can stop feeling that feeling you feel when you tell yourself how cute an outfit will look once you get thin.
13. So when you look in the mirror and cry, it's because you finally did it, not because you're ashamed.
14. So you can feel sexy no matter what you're wearing.
15. So you can forfeit ownership of the thunderthighs.

15 September, 2011

New reasons to get off my 145lb derriere and lose the weight:

1.  To make my boyfriend's ex-wife (more) jealous:
I am not a bitter person.  I mean, I try not to be.  However, everything about my boyfriend's ex is superficial, artificial, and malice-filled.  I genuinely tried to like her and give her the benefit of the doubt about the awful things my boyfriend said to her (after all, there are two sides to every story) .  Over time, though, she has proved to be everything my boyfriend had described and more.  She calls him drunk in the middle of the night, even though she's engaged (to the man she left him for), she always answers the door in barely anything when he comes to pick up their daughter, and she speaks ill of me to him.  She has her attractive qualities.  Unfortunately for her, all of those qualities are manufactured.  Her poor skin is hidden by layers of makeup.  Her bland hazel eyes are masked with colored contacts.  Her hair is the product of 300 dollars every 2 months. The one thing she can't hide are the big dinners she's been scarfing with the fiancee.  Oh, and the fact that she's an idiot.  Anyway, this week the bitch got salmonella and lost 12 pounds, so I have some catching up to do.


2.  So the only thing I have to worry about when it comes to shopping is the price:
My boyfriend doesn't get why I'm not happy when he takes me to the mall once a month and offers me every pretty thing I look at.  If you deal with what I deal with, you do.  There is no joy in allowing my wonderful boyfriend to buy me a beautiful top or dress that will showcase dumpy thighs and a doughy tummy.

My first goal is to get back to 137.  From there, I'll keep going.

Love.

19 April, 2011

Cleaning out my tips file, too:

THE TIPS YOU'LL FIND ANYWHERE:


  • Eat lots of fiber.
  • Use smaller plates. (It makes you feel like you're eating bigger portions.  You are so easy to trick!)
  • Exercise.
  • Eat more slowly.  (Give your body time to register what you're eating.)
  • Increase your veggie intake.
  • Keep track of what you're eating in a food journal.  (You may be surprised!)
  • Drink 64-80 ounces of water a day.
  • Get as much sleep as you need (7-10 hours) to function.  (When you're sleep deprived, you're less likely to make the best dietary decisions.)
  • Take your vitamins.  (Sometimes, cravings are your body's way of telling you that you need a certain vitamin or mineral.)
  • Eat spicy foods and watermelon to boost your metabolism.


BUST EMOTIONAL EATING:


  • De-stress
    • Bubble Baths really work for me.  Exercise is a popular way to relieve stress.  Blow bubbles, pet a puppy, do something nice.  Meditate.
  • Take a moment before you eat to decide how you feel.  Is there anything besides food that would ease your discomfort?
  • Fight boredom.  Make a list of things to do when there's nothing to do.  Get creative!
  • Keep comfort foods to a minimum.  Everyone has days when a big cheesy bowl of pasta sounds good.  If you don't keep those foods on hand, you are more likely to settle for, say, an apple.  :)
  • Don't restrict too much throughout the day if you have a tendency to binge when the sun goes down.  We all have limits, especially when we first start.  I'd much prefer to start my day with egg whites, eat a tiny lunch, and a tiny snack at dinnertime than skip breakfast and lunch and eat a whole pizza late at night.
  • Keep healthy snacks on hand that satisfy your cravings.  Love sweets?  Fill your cabinets with fruit cups, low fat yogurt, ice pops.  Love salty?  Stock up on veggies, hummus, low fat pretzels.  And when you do need your fix (PMS, anyone?), take the time to measure your portions into separate containers, then put the original package away!


QUICK WAYS TO MAXIMIZE YOUR WEIGHT LOSS:


  • Brush your teeth as soon as you're done eating.  That minty feeling will be a big help when you want to avoid snacking in a few minutes.
  • Slice your food.
  • Hang out with fellow dainty eaters.  
  • Suck in your stomach and watch your posture.  It really makes a difference in how you look and how tight your abs get over time!
  • Turn the heat down just a tad. 
  • Move while you're on the phone.  I got a bluetooth just for when my mom or friends call so that I can walk around, scrub something, do squats.  
  • If you are eating something like pizza or french fries, blot the grease off.  Pick it apart.  Eat only the best bits.

17 April, 2011

Cleaning out my thinspo file:









Right now, I'm just trying to keep the thinspiration on my computer to a minimum.  It's the difference between someone finding out and going, "Weird," and someone going all LIfetime-original-series on my ass.  

Here are some of my favorite word-based thinspirations.  I love them all, but the top one is one of my favorites.  If I still lived alone, I'd get the last one printed and framed.  

16 April, 2011

I crave minimalism.

When I was a (spoiled, selfish, short-sighted) little girl, there were so many times when my entire being cried out to the universe: "If I just had _________...!"  Now, the common thought is an easily drowned out groan:  "If I just got rid of _________...!"


  • Things to do
  • Debt (although 3,000 isn't too bad, I hate it and it makes me feel dirty)
  • PMS
  • Acne from PMS
  • Anxiety from the things I wish I didn't have
  • Laziness
The name of the game is now simplifying.  You'll see what I mean.

I don't want to fight with my hair, so I should get my split ends cut.
I don't want to wear full makeup every day, so I should be more aggressive with breakouts.
I don't want to be lazy, so I should push myself to do things.
I don't want anxiety, so I should stop procrastinating.

Life will be so much simpler when I break down the walls of the maze within my head.

Love.

It's coming...

Summer.  This will be the year I rock out the shorts, sun dresses, mini skirts, and tank tops.

My aversion to summer clothes is not just a fat thing... I have nice enough arms, but my shoulders get this patch of breakouts that I never properly battle.  This year, I'm launching a full-on assault with salicylic acid.  Hoo-rah.

And here's my motivation for this season:










I really need to get domestic before the boyfriend gets home from his twelve hour day at work and finds that I've done nothing, again.  
Manic depression's a frustrating mess.

Love.

15 April, 2011

April 14th:












I want my insides to feel like aspects of all of these things.  If I have uploaded something of yours, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.


Happy Birthday to my all-time favorite thinspo, Sarah Michelle Buffy.  I love the way she walks and talks an dresses and looks.  I feel more at home looking at her face than I ever could with mine.  I always have.  And maybe that's a part of this.  But that doesn't make it stop.  Well, the beer makes it stop, right now.  But the knowledge, I'm immune to it.

Excuse me while I romance my boyfriend.

Love.