... but today, ordinary isn't enough.

22 October, 2010

This has proven to be difficult:

13 pounds lost.  11 pounds regained.  Dammit.  This gaining and losing is apparently bad for my skin's elasticity.  I need to shit or get off the pot.  And I also need to watch my cussing.  It's unbecoming, or something.

This is my first non-Pill PMS in 4 months.  I'm scared.  I already threw a half-empty diet coke bottle at the ex-bf's temple and told him to wreck his car and die.  I just need to get through this week so I can have Sunday afternoon and evening completely, blissfully, to myself.  Just two more, complete days of work to suffer through, to spend feeling inadequate and anxious.  Which reminds me:  I don't remember feeling so on the verge of an anxiety attack pre-Pill.  Holy cow I need to see a real GP, not the lovely ladies from Planned Parenthood.

I ate too much to share, and I did the same thing for the week and a half before today.  Why do you think I haven't been able to show my face here?  Now, I'm downing a Lipton diet green tea and fighting sleep for another few minutes.

My boss, who I thought had feelings for me, apparently did not.  I am unfazed.  This is God's will.  That grown man had no excuse for the things he said to me or the way he followed me around.  [Which reminds me:  am I the only person on the internets with an ED as well as a personal relationship with Jesus?  I attend church VERY regularly and read my bible/pray often.]

Next week, I promise to be more present.  To share more with the non-audience:  about beauty, fashion, thinspo, and life.  Tonight, I must sleep.

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